What Evangelicals Might As Well Be Saying At Your Door

A brief history of Western religion to the present day.
And in the sequel:
Mary: “John, I… I… I ate mustard on my wiener! Yes, I did! And it was good!”
John (who has been secretly imbibing a quart of gin): “Wiener neener neener no… .” (Passes out.)

Kissing Hanks Ass.

Written by James Huger

People-peeking-inThis morning there was a knock at my door. When I answered the door I found a well groomed, nicely dressed couple. The man spoke first:

John: “Hi! I’m John, and this is Mary.”
Mary: “Hi! We’re here to invite you to come kiss Hank’s ass with us.”
Me: “Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who’s Hank, and why would I want to kiss His ass?”
John: “If you kiss Hank’s ass, He’ll give you a million dollars; and if you don’t, He’ll kick the shit out of you.”
Me: “What? Is this some sort of bizarre mob shake-down?”
John: “Hank is a billionaire philanthropist. Hank built this town. Hank owns this town. He can do whatever He wants, and what He wants is to give you a million dollars, but He can’t until you kiss…

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